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Community Corner

My Kid Can Read ... Kind Of

I forget how and when I learned to read, but it happened. I'm keeping this in mind as I watch Ethan, 6, learn to read and struggle with understanding the screwed-up language we call English.

It’s been a long time since I learned to read. I have been reading well ... since I learned to read. I love books and escaping into my own mind for a while. I forget how and when exactly I learned to read, but it happened. I'm keeping this in mind as Ethan struggles learning to read the screwed up language we call English.

I help Ethan every night. We read and use flash cards. He just has to ask, "Why does 'a' sound like 'uh' in 'what' when that is clearly a 'u' sound?" and "What about the fact that 'tr' actually makes the same sound as 'chr'?" I have no answers.

I know that as fellow parents a lot of y'all have had to already answer these questions. Some of you are probably shaking your heads and thinking, "Oh, just wait until you have to explain algebra, Katie." I'm already working on my letter to the school board as to why my children won't be taking that class. (I failed it repeatedly through high school and college.) Passing that class is just not in their genetic makeup.

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The beginning stages of learning to read are torture not only for the kids but for the parents, too. I don't know how teachers do it. I don't know how they do a lot of what they do. The fact that they have the patience to teach not only one child, but to teach 20 children amazes me. I can barely get through five pages of Ethan reading and sounding out every single letter four times each. My eyeballs are almost permanently in a rolled position the whole time. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, "YOU JUST SOUNDED THIS SAME WORD OUT FOUR WORDS AGO! HOW DO YOU NOT REMEMBER IT?”

I feel like the worst parent on the planet because my patience wears thin. I all but run out of the room when the book is done shouting to the world, "He finished, he finished, he finished the dumbest, worst written book about cats eating hot dogs ever! I lived through it and will now have kindling for my fireplace!"

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First grade reading is hard work—for the parents. When did it get so hard? Why do the teachers use words that I have to Google the meaning of? I'm not an ignorant person, but I admit quite a few of my brain cells have been damaged due to years of watching Elmo, Calliou, Wonder Pets and other unintelligent life forms wiggling and singing to get my kids' attention.

Ethan has it in him to be smart and memorize unimportant facts, so why can't he remember his sight words? He can recite every line from the Scooby Doo movie, but can't remember how to pronounce "this." I know it’s a matter of time, work and repetition before he gets it. In the meantime, I'm trying hard to wrangle my inner patience in order to hear more stories about furry little animals and what will happen if you give them a pancake, cupcake, or potato chip. I will spend more time in front of the mirror practicing my "It's OK, honey, sound it out again. You'll get it" face and voice.

That’s the hardest part. Ethan is smart and sensitive; he can tell when I'm doing "spirit fingers" instead of "high fives." I don't want him to think for a second that listening to him butcher the English language is physically painful. As many parents say throughout a child's younger years, "I know my kid won't go to college wearing diapers," or "I know my kid won't go to college sleeping in my bed." OK, well, I can say for a fact, "I know my kid won't go to college not knowing how to read." Ugh—the stress that lies ahead.

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