Well, with the wounds closing up from last week’s flogging at the hands of Dark Souls, I decided to drop the sword and shield for a while and hopped into the cockpit to take on Ace Combat: Assault Horizon. Hilariously enough, it's published by Namco-Bandi, the same company that made Dark Souls. Being a pilot myself (well, certified to fly without an instructor, anyway) I’ve actually never been big into flight sims. My only experience with them was when I was a chubby kid with a buzz cut and bent glasses (as opposed to today, where I am a chubby adult with a buzz cut and bent glasses). It was …

What’s the best way to make a game appeal to young men? Why, make it about hulking men in bulky power armor violently shooting and slashing their way through every manner of cosmic monstrosity, of course. It worked for Gears of War, after all, a game series only slightly less popular than Halo and slightly more popular than Judaism (true story), so why indeed should it not work for Space Marine, a game about hulking men in bulky power armor etcetera, etcetera? Speaking of Gears of War, Space Marine has made the fatal mistake of daring to be released anywhere within a month of the third …