A Northeast Cobb mom, who asked that we not print her name, doesn't know how best to handle her four-year-old's tantrums. Her house is divided on the issue. Her husband believes in spanking. She believes in time-out, but admits that time-out is not very effective. She is torn, and wonders how other mothers would handle the situation.
How do you handle your child's tantrum? Spanking, or time-out? Which do you believe is most effective? Reply in the Comment Box below.
CLIFF HICKS
2:53 pm on Wednesday, April 20, 2011
IT IS MOST CERTAIN THAT TIME OUT DOES NOT WORK. I HAVE DEALT WITH CHILDREN FOR MANY YEARS AND I HAVE WATCHED SIMILAR AGED KIDS GET TIME OUT WHILE OTHERS RECEIVED A SPANKING ( NOT A BEATING) AND THE ONES WHO RECEIVED THE SPANKING WILL RESPOND FAVORABLY ALMOST EVERYTIME WHEREAS THE TIME OUT CHILD WILL NOT ONLY FORGET ABOUT THE INCIDENT IMMEDIATELY BUT WILL COMMIT THE SAME ACT WITHIN THE NEXT FEW DAYS. HENCE, OUR COUNTRY IS FAST LOSING ITS' DISCIPLINE AND ITS' ABILITY TO DEAL WITH PROBLEM CHILDREN. IT IS ALSO SHOWING UP IN THE SCHOOLS AS VERY YOUNG CHILDREN (7) SEVEN YEARS OLD EVEN HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THE TEACHER SINCE THERE IS NO RECOURSE FOR THEIR ACTIONS. THUS, THEY CONTINUE TO ACT UP CAUSING DISARRAY IN THE CLASSROOM AND THE INABILITY FOR OTHERS TO LEARN.
IN CLOSING, IF WE AS A SOCIETY DON'T GO BACK IN TIME AND ALLOW SPANKING AS A FORM OF PUNISHMENT THEN WE WILL LOSE OUR YOUTH OF TODAY. I HAVE SEEN TJHIS FIRSTHAND AND WE MUST ACT NOW OR OUR KIDS FUTURE ARE GOING TO BE LITTERED WITH JAIL SENTENCES BECAUSE PARENTS AND TEACHERS DID NOT DISCIPLINE THE CHILD IMMEDIATELY CORRECTLY. I DO NOT MEAN TO BEAT A CHILD BUT TO ONLY SPANK SO YOU GET THEIR ATTENTION!
MANY THANKS,
CDH
MMead
6:58 pm on Friday, April 22, 2011
Only suitable for minors?:
Ask ten staunch proponents of child bottom-battering (common euphemistic labels include "spanking", "paddling", "caning", "whooping", etc) which of these are are the "right way" to do it, and which are obscene, indecent or abusive, and you will get ten different answers
http://hpd.de/files/images/middleMicada-paddledgirl.jpg
http://www.nospank.net/paddler.jpg
http://img.allvoices.com/thumbs/event/598/486/60609255-corporal-punishment.jpg
http://inaworldofhurt.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/paddlingpic.jpg?w=200&h=329
http://www.chastisewithlove.com/otlfb.jpg
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_0ACA3PAZyP8/SSkFauYNA4I/AAAAAAAAAo0/AhLSBCdiVHc/s400/PADDLING.jpg
http://www.chastisewithlove.com/uta.jpg
People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, college students, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered assault and battery (sexual battery at that) if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.
MMead
6:59 pm on Friday, April 22, 2011
Most current research:
Spanking Kids Increases Risk of Sexual Problems
http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2008/feb/lw28spanking.cfm
Use of Spanking for 3-Year-Old Children and Associated Intimate Partner Aggression or Violence
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/126/3/415
Spanking Can Make Children More Aggressive Later
http://tulane.edu/news/releases/pr_03122010.cfm
Spanking Children Can Lower IQ
http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2009/sept/lw25straus.cfm
Recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak
http://www.nospank.net/pt2010.pdf
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson
http://nospank.net/sdsc2.pdf
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor MD and Adah Maurer PhD
http://nospank.net/taylor.htm
"Spanking" can be intentionally or unintentionally sexually abusive (educational resources documentation, testimony, etc):
http://www.nospank.net/101.htm
MMead
6:59 pm on Friday, April 22, 2011
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child "spanking" isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
United Methodist Church
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child.
In 31 nations, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child. The US also has the highest incarceration rate in the world.
The US states with the highest crime rates, poorest academic performance, highest obesity rates and health problems, and largest welfare caseloads are also the ones with the highest rates of child corporal punishment.
Of all the things prison inmates lacked in their upbringing, "spanking" certainly wasn't one of them.
There is simply no evidence to suggest that child bottom-battering instills virtue.